Why Does My Autistic Child Take Off Their Shoes?

So, your child keeps taking their shoes off…

At school.
Outside.
Sometimes in places where it isn’t safe.

You’re worried.
Maybe confused.
Possibly frustrated.

Let me try to shed some light on this by telling you what shoes feel like to me — and how I personally manage it.

I’m autistic.
And I take my shoes off too.

Not to be difficult.

Because sometimes, they feel unbearable.

What “Uncomfortable” Really Means

For many autistic people, sensations don’t fade into the background.

They stay.

When you put on shoes, you might notice them for a few minutes.
Then your brain filters them out.

For me — and for many autistic people — that filtering doesn’t happen.

Shoes combine:

• Heat
• Pressure
• Seams
• Tightness
• Restricted movement

For some of us, that input never becomes “normal.”

It stays noticeable all day.

It Can Feel Like Wearing Gloves All Day

Imagine wearing gloves constantly.

Even if they don’t hurt, eventually you’d want to:

• Feel air
• Move freely
• Not have something wrapped around you

That’s what shoes can feel like.

Taking them off is regulation.
Not rebellion.

My Winter Experiment

I personally struggle most with the sensation of heat and feeling “trapped” inside a shoe.

So I tested something.

One early February day in Switzerland (around 2°C / 35.6°F), I dressed fully for winter:

Coat.
Scarf.
Gloves.

On my feet? Slip-in sandals.

I wanted to know what was worse:
The cold — or shoes?

I didn’t wear boots again until summer.

As long as I’m not standing in snow, I’m more comfortable in sandals.

That’s how strong the discomfort is.

One person might urgently need to get out of a pair of sneakers at school —
while another insists on wearing closed shoes all winter.

Sensory needs aren’t about logic.

They’re about regulation.

What looks extreme from the outside can feel completely necessary from the inside.

Please always prioritise safety — roads, sharp objects, and extreme temperatures are real risks.
This is what works for me.

What Types of Shoes Tend to Work Better

Not all shoes are equal.

Some features make a big difference:

• Soft, flexible soles (even gymnastic-style shoes can help)
• Wide toe boxes (many brands offer “wide” models — or sizing up slightly can reduce pressure)
• Minimal internal seams
• Breathable materials (Geox is often surprisingly good for this)
• Easy on/off designs (Skechers has a “Slip-Ins” collection)
• Open-back options like slip-in sandals
• Soft leather moccasins — elegant enough for work, easy to slide off discreetly
• Velcro, elastic panels, or adjustable straps instead of rigid lace-ups

And yes — comfortable socks matter too.
But that’s a whole topic on its own.

Sometimes it also helps to ignore strict seasonal rules:

Sandals in colder weather.
Snow boots in milder weather.

The goal isn’t fashion.

It’s nervous system comfort.

Bonus Tips for Breaking In New Shoes

If new shoes are the biggest issue, two things can really help:

1. Break them in gradually at home.
Wear them indoors with thick ski socks for short sessions.
The socks reduce friction and soften pressure points over time.

2. See a pedologist (foot specialist).
They can assess foot shape, recommend suitable models, and sometimes professionally soften or stretch shoes.

This is helpful whether you’re autistic or not.
Good footwear benefits everyone.

What Actually Helps Most

You probably can’t eliminate shoes entirely.

But you can reduce distress:

• Allow short barefoot breaks when safe
• Choose flexibility over rigidity
• Prioritize comfort over convention

If your child keeps taking their shoes off, they are very likely communicating something real.

Not defiance.

Discomfort.

When you shift the question from:

“Why won’t they keep their shoes on?”

to:

“What does wearing shoes feel like for them?”

the situation often becomes clearer.

And calmer.

Understanding changes the response.

And that can change everything.

A Small Invitation

Each April, there is a barefoot autism challenge that encourages people to show support for autistic individuals and those with sensory processing differences — and to experience for themselves what it feels like to walk barefoot.

It’s not about copying behaviour.

It’s about noticing how powerful sensory comfort can be.

Even small experiences can shift perspective.